We have all been there: Left out of fitting in.
As Christians, we know that we will often be left out when it comes to fitting in with popular culture and the secular world. But what do we do when we are left out among other Christians? Left out at our own church?
We all long to belong. We want a place of honor in a circle of friends. We want to be needed.
Feeling left out
Obviously friendship cannot be forced, yet when we strive to be friendly to others and are rebutted at every turn, it makes one wonder “What is wrong with me?” Being left out of fitting in brings that question front and center.
Please tell me I am not the only one who has felt this way.
I have a few tips to share with you about making friends, but first…a secret:
There is nothing at all wrong with you. NOTHING.
Okay, you are right, that isn’t really a secret…but it feels good to read that, right? So own it! Because it is absolutely TRUTH!
Tips for fitting in
- Pray for God to show you your circle. I used to just try to make friends with any and every woman whose path I crossed. Well, not really, because I’m an introvert, and well, that’s another story. BUT, the point is I didn’t seek purposeful friendships. I wasn’t seeking connection, just contact. Prayer allows God to speak into my life and show me the women He means for me to build relationships with. It allows Him to show me my people.
- Be proactive! Don’t always wait for someone else to suggest the next coffee date, girls’ night out, or concert get together. Suggest plans and come up with creative ways to develop your community.
- Don’t get hung up on getting left out. Don’t let all the invites you don’t get be your focus. Remember that you have already been made a part of the best circle ever…the kingdom of God! You’re in my friend!